One thought short of a brilliancy

Okay, I admit it: Sometimes I go into something with a smug attitude knowing that my brilliancy will just dazzle others. I do that thing I do and then just sit back and enjoy the adulation. Unfortunately, when you are surrounded by people smarter than you are, these planned moments never turn out the way you hope they will. Case in point: Toilet training my three year old daughter.

So my daughter is sitting on the potty, and I had planned an incredible and, dare I say it, quite brilliant way of getting her to be enthusiastic about pooping on said potty. Up to that point, to put her at ease on the toilet, I had promised her that I would tell her stories, which helped a little bit. Then I had the idea of weaving the process of using the potty into a story that would make my daughter never want to use her diaper again. Brilliant!

What made this better of course was that my wife was sitting in the next room and could hear. Now I could be brilliant with an audience. It doesn't get any better than that.

So I started telling my daughter the story of Roger the poop, who wanted, more than anything in the world, to swim in the ocean with the fish. So Roger the poop really hoped that my daughter would not use a diaper, because then he would never end up in the potty. I then explained that the potty led to pipes under the house, and these pipes led to the river, and the river led to the ocean. If only she would use the potty, Roger would be happy and be able to swim in the ocean with the fish!

Well, it kinda sorta worked. She did use the potty, but it didn't really seem that she was more enthusiastic than before my story. Still, I thought it was the building block of an innovative and creative way of toilet training my daughter.

After my daughter ran out of the bathroom, I rather jauntily walked over to my wife. I was about to say, "Am I not the most brilliant potty trainer ever," when she looked up from her book and stated matter-of-factly, "You know, now she'll never want to swim in the ocean."

Damn.

I thought I was deflated then, but the very next day my daughter came up to me and said, "Daddy, tell me the story about Roger the poop and how he likes being in a diaper!"

Sigh. At least now she'll swim in the ocean.